Broad-sided
Gloria
Review by Ross Anthony

A tough white "broad" (in Gloria's own words) and little Latino boy adventure through a "B" movie. Gloria (Sharon Stone) is released from prison after serving three years for her no-good boyfriend Kevin. She returns to New York, only to find Kevin and his gangsters preparing to off little Nicky (Jean-Luke Figueroa). Gloria's never been a good girl herself, so she finds the urge to help the little boy awkward. However, after hearing how Kevin's thugs took out little Nicky's entire family, she impulsively decides to rescue the lad, thus adding danger to the adventure.

A word on how said thugs orphaned Nicky ... "MEAN". That's right, thug with silencer caps gramma, mom, dad, and even little sister in one harsh scene. It's definitely curdling, and deathly shocking in a movie that spends most of it's time lightening up. As an example, Gloria returns to Kevin's thug den to nab the kid and get away -- that's the extent of her plan. Despite her cluelessness, she's able to gain the upper hand against a room full of bad guys. Then in order to ensure her get away with the kid, she has the bad boys go "full monty". It's quite funny, but equally ridiculous that these heartless killers would allow a floozy in four inch heals and a little kid to simply run away with a computer disc brimming with lethal information.

Though Gloria is clever enough to sneak out, she makes all the mistakes cop-movie watchers would never make. 1) She immediately attempts to take Nicky back to his house. 2) She then takes boy to nearest relative. 3) She hobnobs with friends of Kevin drawing killers to her front door. Miraculously, she manages to get away -- in the mob-mobile no less; which leads to an interesting car chase where Gloria makes mistake number four. 4) She hangs around the car after parking it in the open.



As for Nicky, most of of his lines and actions were only contrived vehicles for which Gloria to respond. He was endearing in that wonderful "full monty" scene, but after that, the scantily dressed Gloria drags him by one arm like a rag doll through the rest of the film.




Starring Sharon Stone and Jean-Luke Figueroa.
Directed by Sidney Lumet.
Produced by Gary Foster and Lee Rich, Columbia/Mandalay Entertainment.
Rated R.



Grade..........................C-


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Last Modified: Saturday, 16-Sep-2006 08:10:03 PDT