| Avoid the Roid | ||
| Essay by Ross Anthony | ||
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My apologies for being crude and direct, but hemorrhoids (hemroids?) are even cruder. Also, I'm not a doctor, I just want to help - because roids are a pain in the ars! Read at your own risk (as always), and consult real experts before doing what works for me: 1. Shave that Harry Bottom! Remember ... aim for the path of least resistance. 2. Don’t Push, Rush, or Read on the potty. Relax on the throne, don’t add any pressure to the situation. That said, don’t extend the stay. Reading is wonderful, but find a nice comfy place, get off that hard surface. In fact, avoid hard surfaces for sitting all together. 3. Finger-Cleaning Good: A bidet confuses me. Maybe you can make that work, but no need. Just a dash of water, dab of liquid soap on your finger - clean that area good! Even perhaps clean 1/4 of an inch or so inside. Yuck! Yeah, gross - but hemorrhoids are grosser! Don’t over wipe and irritate the situation! Wipe the big stuff, Clean with soap and water. Then wipe dry. 4. Eat Well. Avoid foods that make you wipe excessively. I aim for a diet that makes my poop firm enough that it doesn’t leave any residue while disembarking my butt. These days, I can successfully take 3 squares of TP and wipe with zero brown - that happens about 50% of the time. I’ll take it! I find avoiding sodas, sugary drinks, fast food, junk food, (bananas, oddly enough) and too much coffee really helps - as well as enjoying veggies. Of course, this has the added benefit of being just plain good for you. 5. Whoopie Pause. Give your innards at least a 24hour break between sexy times. Sadly, I'm no stranger to roids. Yet, I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to figure out a successful management routine. I'm not saying it's a cure, but if you treat your butt better, you'll feel much better. I remember reading in some medical books that surgeries are often recommended. YIKES! Once I implemented these, I can go years with a healthy back end. And if those roids do return - it’s usually because I didn’t take my own advice. Hope that helps you heal!Copyright © 2025. Ross Anthony, RossAnthony.com/books click here for OTHER ESSAYS by Ross Anthony click here for BOOKS by Ross Anthony ...and yes, this is a film review site. |
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Copyright © 2000-2025. Ross Anthony, currently based in Los Angeles, has scripted and shot documentaries, music videos, and shorts in 35 countries across North America, Europe, Africa and Asia. For more reviews visit: RossAnthony.com |
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Last Modified:
Wednesday, 10-Sep-2025 09:19:30 PDT